We Need to Take Back Control of Our Time and Attention

9 min read6 days ago

Have you ever noticed that phone and every pixel on it screams “click me, click me!” whenever you’re near by?

This constant distraction has become a big problem, messing with our mental health, focus, and even relationships. Research shows that once we’re interrupted, it can take up to 23 minutes to recover from, leaving us in a permanent state of alertness. It can even lead to anxiety, a “dopamine deficit state,” and even diminished joy from everyday activities. [8]

I’ve really started noticing this negative effect over the past year. It’s crazy how we all are glued to our phones, losing time and focus without even realizing it.

Working 10+ years in the software development field, I know that this is no accident. Your time (measured as an engagement) is the most valuable commodity that all app developers want to maximize. To get it, they use all kinds of nasty methods to steal and keep your attention:

Vivid & high-contrast colors (Stimulate the brain and create visual excitement)
Push notifications (Triggers FOMO and bring you back to the app)
Micro-Interactions (Small animations, sounds, haptic feedback — it all feels satisfying and provides instant gratification.)
Infinite Scrolling (Endless content feeds that are causing endless temptation and time distortion exchanged for occasional dopamine hits.)
Variable Rewards (Ad-hoc rewards, likes, new content makes you check for the next “hit”, exploiting the brain’s dopamine system.)
Gamification (Games are no longer the only apps using gaming mechanisms. Rewards, badges, points and streaks are all designed to encourage continued use.)
Habit Loops (Apps are designed to embed themselves into your daily routine by leveraging habit-forming behavior. They do it by creating cues, routines, and reward systems.)

Many of those are literally designed with help of psychologists and neuroscientists to directly “attack” your vulnerabilities and obtain your time for exchange of cheap dopamin and a brief spike of pleasure.

Why do all these cheap tricks actually work?

In order to motivate us to survive and reproduce, our body evolved mechanisms that give us occasional dopamine rewards for actions that lead to it. For example, the satisfaction of eating after a hunt, the relief of safety from building shelter, or the joy of bonding within a group for protection.

These dopamine-driven rewards were nature’s way of saying, “This action is good for you — do it again.” They weren’t constant; they were rare and tied to effort and meaningful outcomes.

The problem is, our brain’s reward system hasn’t evolved as quickly as our environment. In our ancestors’ world, rewards were hard-earned and infrequent. Smartphones and other digital devices now hijack our brains with frequent stimuli, unpredictable rewards, and effortless access to dopamine. [7]

Getting Dopamine Overdose

In the ’50s and ’60s, psychologists James Olds and Peter Milner conducted an interesting study on rats. They implanted electrodes in the brains of rats, targeting areas associated with the brain’s reward system, such as the nucleus accumbens.

The rats were able to self-stimulate these brain regions by pressing a button. The rats would press the button repeatedly, sometimes thousands of times per hour, often neglecting basic survival needs like eating, drinking, or sleeping. In some cases, it even led to death.

Just like the rats, we’re voluntarily overdosing on dopamine by chasing likes, ad-hoc rewards and endless scrolling while neglecting sleep, relationships, and mental health. [7][4]

Some level of distraction and temptation have been part of human experience for the past thousands of years. What’s new is the unprecedented scale of it.

Buddha’s Triumph Over Mara
In Buddhist tradition, Mara is a demon representing temptation, desire, delusion, and attachment. A story goes like this:
As Siddhartha sat beneath the Bodhi tree, seeking enlightenment, Mara appeared to test his resolve. He unleashed his full arsenal — visions of seductive desires, chilling fears, and whispers of doubt — hoping to shake Siddhartha’s focus.
Yet, Siddhartha remained still, practicing mindful awareness and detachment. He watched each temptation arise and pass, staying grounded in his purpose and anchored in the present moment. He silenced Mara’s illusions and, in that moment of clarity, attained enlightenment. [5]

Recognize the Illusions

Most of us unconsciously pick up our phones when we’re bored, stressed, or even just out of habit. These moments of autopilot behavior are exactly what strengthens the unhealthy cycle. The dopamine surges from using your phone and social media are often short-lived and initial pleasure diminishes over time.

Eventually, this can lead even to a “dopamine deficit state,” where individuals find it increasingly difficult to derive pleasure from everyday activities due to their reliance on digital rewards.

Start with mindfulness. Notice when and why you reach for your phone. Try to break the pattern and say “no” to your brain. Just once or twice a day might be enough at the beginning.

Break Free from the Infinite Distraction Loop

Beating the big tech designers and psychologists who work tirelessly to steal your attention and time isn’t easy with willpower alone. But there are simple, effective methods that can help you lower down the temptation and regain control. Here are five strategies that work for me.

1. Make Your Phone Less Appealing

Our brains are naturally drawn to bright colors — it’s an instinct that helped early humans find ripe fruits or spot danger. Vibrant red notification badges and colorful app icons are crafted to capture your attention in exactly the same way.

Bright, colorful, and smooth animations create excitement but can also lead to overstimulation. A simple strategy to avoid this is switching your phone to grayscale and reducing animations. Reducing these visual effects can take away the “wow factor” for most apps.

Studies suggest this is an effective way to reduce the urge to check your phone impulsively, making it easier to cut back on screen time. [9]

Simple Steps to Break Free

Level 1: Set your phone’s background to black and mute app icons to grayscale.
Level 2: Disable or reduce animations in your settings.
Level 3: Switch your entire phone to grayscale for a fully muted experience.

2. Out of Sight, Out of Mind

Ever grab your phone for something important, only to end up mindlessly scrolling Instagram? That’s muscle memory and the accessibility effect at work. [1]

When Instagram sits in the same spot on your homescreen — third row, second icon — for years, your brain builds an automatic routine: unlock, swipe, tap. This happens completely subconsciously without you even noticing.

To break this loop, you need to disrupt the pattern. It’s not easy at first, but it’s worth it.

Actions You Can Take

Level 1: Move addictive apps (Instagram, TikTok, Facebook) to the second or third screen. An extra swipe helps interrupt the habit.
Level 2: Clean up your homescreen. Remove clutter and bury distracting apps even further from your sight in folders. A minimal setup reduces cognitive overload and calms your mind.
Level 3: Keep shuffling. Set a weekly reminder to rearrange these apps, so your brain can’t rely on muscle memory.

3. Be in Control

Notifications are more than just pings — they’re stress triggers. Every alert activates your brain’s stress response, increasing cortisol levels and contributing to anxiety. Over time, this constant state of alertness can lead to chronic stress and feelings of being overwhelmed.

They trigger FOMO, which makes you check your phone constantly. This feeds compulsive habits and hurts your focus. Studies show these interruptions mess with memory, disrupt learning, and overwhelm your brain. Over time, they can even deepen feelings of inadequacy and lower self-esteem.

Notifications received during nighttime can interfere with sleep quality, which is crucial for mental health.

Simple Steps to Begin

Level 1: Set up automatic night mode to block all notifications from ~11 PM to ~8 AM. Turn off notifications completely for non-essential apps like games, shopping, and news.
Level 2: Allow notifications only from your closest circle of friends and family. Keep interruptions limited only to people who matter.
Level 3: Hide notification badges and banners from your lock screen. This puts you in full control, letting you decide when to check your phone and engage with others.

4. Limited Phone Usage

Most smartphones track how much time you spend on apps each week. According to HarmonyHit research, people spend an average of 4.5 hours daily on their phones — slightly less for boomers, but a staggering 6 hours for Gen Z. [2]

Have you checked yours? Is that time well spent, or could it go toward something more meaningful?

Phones are helpful, but without balance, they can take over. The goal isn’t to ditch your phone but to use it with purpose. Research shows that setting app limits can significantly reduce screen time, and keeping phones out of sight even boosts focus and strengthens relationships. [3]

Keeping phones out of sight can enhance focus and improve interpersonal relationships.

Here’s How to Get Started

Level 1: Set daily limits for your most addictive apps. (e.g., 15 min/day on Instagram).
Level 2: During work or social time, keep your phone face down — or even better, in another room.
Level 3: Start your day offline. Use an offline alarm clock, and keep your phone out of sight until midday.

5. Practice Saying “No” to Your Phone

Willpower is like a muscle — the more you practice resisting the urge to check your phone, the stronger it gets. Start by creating space between the temptation and action. When you feel the urge, delay it for 5 minutes. This small step disrupts the habit loop and puts you back in control.

The average American checks their phone 262 times a day — that’s once every 5.5 minutes! It’s almost like moving through the day on autopilot, letting the phone dictate your attention like a digital zombie. [6]

Reducing this number, even by a third, would be a huge win for your focus and mental clarity. Celebrate each time you resist, as these small wins reinforce your self-control. Over time, this builds the habit of intentional phone use, making it easier to avoid distractions.

What To Do

Level 1: Delay phone checks by 5 minutes when tempted, or until you finish a certain task.
Level 2: Set phone-free rules, such as no phones during meals or work sessions.
Level 3: Commit yourself to completely refuse to check your phone 3 times per day, then increase to 5, 10, or more as you build confidence and willpower.

Start Small, Stay Consistent

Breaking free from the constant pull of your phone isn’t easy — it’s a long and tedious process. The key is to start small and be patient with yourself. I’m on the same path, cutting out distractions one by one and seeing how it improves the quality of my life.

Even reducing your screen time by 10–20% can have a noticeable impact on your mental health, focus, and overall well-being.

Try just one or two of the strategies shared here for the beginning. Celebrate small victories, and remember that every step you take toward reclaiming your attention is progress.

We’re all in this together, and I truly believe that with mindfulness, discipline of a warrior and consistent small steps, we can take back control of our time and create space for what truly matters.

Good luck! 🙏

Resources

Stanford Medicine. (2022). The science behind muscle memory. Retrieved from https://scopeblog.stanford.edu/2022/07/15/the-science-behind-muscle-memory/
HarmonyHit. (n.d.). Phone screen time statistics in 2022. Retrieved from https://www.harmonyhit.com/phone-screen-time-statistics/
Johnson, R. T., & Patel, M. K. (2023). The psychological impact of smartphone notifications: A review of mental health outcomes and interventions. Journal of Digital Health, 15(2), 125–140. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jdh.2023.07.002
World Psychiatric Association. (n.d.). Smartphone addiction and its impact on mental health. Retrieved from https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/wps.20617
Enlightenment Thangka. (n.d.). Buddha and Mara: The triumph over temptation. Retrieved from https://enlightenmentthangka.com/blogs/thangka/buddha-and-mara
Reviews.org. (2023). Cell phone addiction statistics: How much are we using our phones? Retrieved from https://www.reviews.org/mobile/cell-phone-addiction/
Therapy Hub. (n.d.). The addictive nature of mobile apps: A dip into psychological research. Retrieved from https://www.therapyhub.eu/the-addictive-nature-of-mobile-apps-a-dip-into-psychological-research/
Lembke, A. (n.d.). Understanding the dopamine reward system and its impact on addiction. Retrieved from https://www.annalembke.com
Jones, M., & Smith, L. (2023). The role of motion design in user interface: Enhancing usability and user experience. Digital Culture & Society, 9(3), 120–135. https://doi.org/10.1177/20501579231212062